Whose Body Is This: Coping With Changes As We Age
It happens to all of us, sometimes even as early as in our twenties. We look at our faces, our bodies, and think – what’s happening to me? As we continue to grow older, those changes become more apparent over time with the increase of new wrinkles or a deepening of laugh lines. Our jaw lines become softer and suddenly (it seems!) we even have extra skin on our necks or a chin that seems to have come out of nowhere. And that’s just our faces!
Overall, our muscles seem to lose their definition, our skin becomes thinner. Changes in our faces, overall muscle tone and shape of our bodies can be quite disconcerting to us as we continue to age over time. For women who are particularly focused on retaining their good looks as a result of the focus of the media, these natural aging changes can begin to be identified even in their twenties. So what can you do?
For some folks who are aging, the new technology in facial rejuvenation can provide some relief – from botox to facials, even fillers or face lifts. These tools, if you are open to medical aesthetics procedures can provide at least an outward appearance of slowing the clock and helping you to look younger and feel better about how you look. While the decision to have facial procedures performed, from fillers to botox and everything in between, is in itself somewhat controversial, those who decide to have those procedures claim that they make their sense of self-worth and confidence even higher because they help match the outsides more closely with how youthful the individual feels on the inside.
From a health perspective, the tools that are available to us throughout our lives can be the most beneficial in slowing the aging process. Tools such as keeping a natural, fruit and vegetable heavy diet that is low in processed and refined foods, plenty of fresh water, and low in toxins are the healthiest tools you can use throughout your life. We really are what we eat, and a diet heavy in fruits and vegetables promotes health and well-being.
Another tool that can be easy to dismiss but that is truly paramount to retaining good health is exercise. As we age, in general we tend to become more sedentary in nature. But movement is vital for the aging population. Maintaining or even initiating an exercise program can help you build or maintain muscle mass, help with balance issues, and assist with getting fresh levels of oxygen both in your lungs and in your cells. Exercise can also help enormously with maintaining a balanced emotional state, which can be very important as we age.
Stiffness is perhaps one of the earliest signs of aging. Physiologically, what happens in the body is the result of a lifetime of carrying yourself a certain way as you move through life. Perhaps one leg is slightly shorter than the other, or perhaps an old knee injury causes you to adjust the way you walk in order to be comfortable. When there is tension from an earlier injury or even as a result of repetitive, consistent movements, those parts of the body contract and retain that tension. Relieving that tension through stretching or various bodywork techniques can be very beneficial to retaining fluid movement, improving mobility, and reducing stiffness.
Accepting the changes in the face and body as we age can be very difficult. Although we all know as we move through our lives that we will age and one day die, seeing the effects of aging on your body can provide us with a challenge that perhaps we don’t want to accept or take on. What does it mean to us internally in our own lives when we notice that we look substantially older than the pictures we took five years ago, or even last year?
Just because we’re aging doesn’t mean that we can’t change our bodies if there is something we don’t like. At any age, we can decide to pick up a new sport or hobby that helps us to strengthen our muscles, become leaner in other places. Meditation and yoga are particularly helpful practices in regards to valuing our bodies. Meditation helps you to connect with the true essence of yourself, and can be started at absolutely any age. Yoga can be relaxing or challenging depending on the class and approach, and can assist with helping the body to become more limber, alleviating some of the stiffness that comes with aging.
One of the least recommended ways to deal with our body’s changes as we age is likely denial. The longer we cannot accept that things are indeed changing, the more likely we will develop other or additional symptoms that will also need to be addressed. For instance, some individuals have a hard time accepting that they can no longer lift what they used to and as a result, create other health challenges such as back injuries. Similar challenges can be presented with diminishing eyesight or hearing or other physical changes as we age.
Aging gracefully can present an enormous challenge when you may no longer be able to move around as you once did. In our society, although our society is definitely an aging society, we are largely focused on media, celebrities, and looking young at any age. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look your best at any age. But as anyone who is at least in mid-life knows, you really do feel like the same person inside as you move through your life even though your outside appearance may be changing over time. How do you best reconcile that your outward appearance no longer reflects how you feel inside?
What does it even mean to age gracefully?
For many it means embracing the changes to our bodies with the recognition that our bodies have supported our every effort, literally our every step and breath in our lives. It means that we take joy in the prominence of the lines around our eyes, knowing that they were formed from a lifetime of joy and emotion. It can also mean that you are fully embodying the age that you are now and valuing the new developments and changes in your body. And for many others it means a renewed sense of attention in taking care of your body lovingly so it will continue to support you as you move forward in your life. Aging gracefully means many things to many people, but most of all it comes as a result of fully learning to love you who are inside and allowing those emotions to radiate within you.
The challenge of living in this human condition, with our miraculous, marvelous, and yes, even at times frail human bodies, is to recognize that we are more than the sum of our parts and appearances. We are vibrant individuals who are given the tools that we need to thrive.
Throughout our lives we are given messages, particularly through the media, that encourage us to spend a lot of time evaluating and trying to improve upon our looks. Especially as children, we tend to spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to others. We also spend a lot of time as we age gnashing our teeth about how we look compared to how we used to look. But isn’t one of the true challenges in life for us to begin to identify, accept, and even embrace that we are much more than we appear to be to the outside world? That’s not to say that we could or even should completely diminish our efforts to put our best feet forward. There is something to be said about the good feelings it gives us inside to know that we are presenting ourselves, or at least trying to present ourselves to the world in the best way we know how.
But from a deeper perspective, if we really do embrace that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, it could be argued that our best efforts are spent ensuring that we feel whole and complete within ourselves. How spectacular to feel joy in our hearts being exactly who we are inside, and to let that radiance shine from the inside out? Even though our bodies do diminish over time, our spirits are never-ending. Perhaps that’s our challenge as we grow older: learning how to shift our perspectives so that we focus less on our physical frame, abilities and appearance, and focus more on developing, embracing, and nurturing the vast richness that lies within our structures. Although it can be a stretch for us at times to accept what seems to be such a large task, in truth, isn’t that where we find the most joy in our lives, throughout our lives – in the richness and expansiveness of our hearts and souls?