Mon, March 24, 2014
Time of my Life - Chapter One
It has been quite some time since my last entry... too much, to even sum up the scope and breadth of my life in the past 2 years. However, I should like to try because I believe my story has become, for my age bracket, a missed opportunity for too many of us and I believe further that this is the opportunity of a lifetime!

There are so many of us being adversely impacted by our fast pace world and we dare not snooze or we may never catch up. The shear volume of passwords and user names that we must keep track of is staggering! Well I wanted to know, how do we jump off the run away train while preserving the very best of ourselves, and our lives to change course and follow our desires? So I jumped!...
 
Two years ago, as I am just waking, I hear a booming voice say to me, “leave this company, leave home”, and I hear it! I hear it so clearly that I can’t explain it away and I can’t ignore it and all I can think is “how”?  I had already invested much of my resources and time into a new venture and oh this is soooo inconvenient right now. But I heard it. And I knew I heard it, knew what it meant.

I asked out loud, “How? How will I do this? Show me! Put my eye on it… show me!”

And now and then, in my busy day of so much going on and battling to keep my nose above water, using every resource I didn’t even know I had until everything was depleted and debt started piling around me; my nails are all broken from holding on so tightly!!

I was feeling stuck in the never ending spin cycle and again I remembered the message I received, “leave this company, leave home”. I knew I had to act on it, and I couldn’t imagine leaving my home that held everything that was important to me…well…almost everything. My family is most important to me and living a purposeful life, so I looked around at all the history, the welcoming that I want my family and friends to feel when they spend time in my home…but what am I preserving and what in the world is there left undone for me to accomplish in my life? How much could I do if I were Free of all these attachments and this anchor?

And the kids visit less and less…they’re busy with their own families, their own accomplishments.
 
So in October of last year, I am managing and manifesting like a mad woman every month to meet my obligations, doing what I Love, but the worry is taking its toll on me and people who care about me are noticing. I knew my Inner world and Outer world were out of sync…and there is a knock on my door as a very nice man offers to buy my beautiful home and many of the things in it.  I picked a good number and he agreed. In a few moments my world was cut free from its moorings and I am now so overwhelmed with the task ahead; I have no idea where I am going!
 
I packed my entire home, the history, the comfort, the predictability and the oh so familiar…into boxes. I gave away almost half of it, great stuff that was never used or still having value if I had the time to attend to Ebay or consignment; instead, folks backed up the trucks and loaded them full many times over; and I watched my memories move down the driveway and on to other closets. It was hard to do, to let go of the stewardship of 25 years, but I kept remembering when we lived in the big house full of wonderful things and I taught my young children to always remember that this house can burn to the ground tomorrow, who will you be without it to define you? I meant it then and I could see my words taking on new meaning for me now. Packing my car with the essentials needed for the next chapter and unsure how long that chapter will last, where I will be and what exactly will fill a purpose or give me comfort. I’m off.
 
And my new chapter has begun…

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