Mon, October 7, 2013
How to Accept Change Powerfully
I’m on the plane coming back from a four-day healing touch conference in Denver, CO.  (Healing Touch is a holistic, nurturing integrative biofield therapy that facilitates health and healing.) As a member of the Board of Directors, we had a big change.

We changed the name of the Association from Healing Touch International, Inc. to Healing Beyond Borders, Educating and Certifying the Healing Touch™. We did it to clarify our purpose and mission to spread healing light worldwide.

That’s a big change.

But a necessary one for the health and growth of the organization.

Sometimes change comes as an unwelcome soldier marching straight through our heart:  Death of a loved one. Loss of a spouse.  Divorce. Illness.
Other times change is chosen…a new job, marriage, moving, starting a family.

No matter what change you encounter, you undoubtedly feel something is starting: life without a spouse, taking a promotion and moving to a new city, a health problem.

What’s really true, according to William Bridges in his book Transitions, Making Sense of Life’s Changes, is that change actually invokes three stages of transition:
  1. Something ends
  2. You’re in the middle, where it’s not quite finished and a new possibility is yet to be realized
  3. There’s a new beginning
Our son just moved to Chicago.  After college he lived with us to save money and pay off some student loans.  We’re so excited for him, and at the same time, realize this move is an end of an era for us.  It’s an end to late night talks, laughing over dinner, and impromptu movie nights .  Of course, we’ve made a commitment to stay connected as much as possible, continue our weekly family meetings, and travel together when we can. But it’s not the same.  We’ll always be his parents, but now he’s on his own.

You might think, ‘Yeah, but it’s a new adventure for him!’ True, it is.  But it’s also an end of his dependence on us. (I know, some of you are thinking….if only!!) It’s the end of his boyhood. 

Now we’re both in transition.

From his perspective, he called a few days after we helped him move out.  He was frustrated with the vagaries of moving….no internet for days (so no way to connect with friends), upset with work, feeling isolated.  He started to think, ‘Why did I move out?’ ‘Did I make the right decision?’ ‘What’s going to happen with my girlfriend?’

While in transition, it’s important not to give up.  These ambivalent feelings are natural and expected. In transition, it may feel like nothing is moving.  You’re stagnate and life isn’t going as anticipated.  You might feel loss, anger, anxiety.

Keep your commitment alive. In our son’s case, my husband met him for lunch to support him, and delivered tools he needed to fix a shelving unit.  The internet was connected and I just talked with him – he was sitting down to dinner with his roommates.

New beginnings he’s experiencing: independence and connection with peers on a different level.

After 25 years, my husband and I are beginning to like the freedom of having the house back.  We went from being DINKs (Double Income No Kids), to handsful, back to having quiet time just for us without the worry of parenting young ones. This new beginning is opening the door to ask, ‘what’s next for us?’

No one likes change.  But as I offered to my children as they we’re growing up, life always changes.  The only constant that never changes is my love for them.

And I made my son promise that whenever I text him he has to text me right back, becaue he'll always be our son.

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