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Mon, July 1, 2013
The Power Of Embracing Your Sexual “Shadow”
If you had told me several years ago that my sexuality related in any way to my personal growth and achievement in life, I would have politely smiled, nodded, and changed the subject.
Though I inherently understood that our sexual experiences could in some way affect our spiritual awareness, I had neither actual proof of this, nor any real understanding of how it could be so - just that quite possibly, it maybe was.
So when I was presented with the opportunity to learn The Secret Tibetan 5 Element Sexual Tantras as a path to spiritual realization, my curiosity was piqued enough for me to embark upon the very un-conventional, scary, and daring adventure of sexual healing and sensual awakening.
What I discovered during this process was less about some woo-woo pie in the sky spiritual experience, and more about the down to earth mechanics of how our sexual wholeness, confidence, and full expression (or lack thereof) relates to every other area of our life - especially when we are unaware of it.
The most basic reasoning behind this is that sexual energy is creative energy - and though yeah, you may get that on an intellectual level - what does that really mean and how does it work?
From an emotional and psychological standpoint, our sexual “identity”, i.e.- the way we experience ourselves sexually, happens way before adolescence and puberty. We begin discovering our sexual selves within the first few years of life; through touching and exploring our genitals, and the pleasurable sensations they offer. This exploration of pleasure is entirely innocent, free of shame and full of joy, until we are taught by the “outside world” (parents, teachers, babysitters, neighbors, etc.) that “good girls and boys don’t touch themselves,” and they certainly don’t feel pleasure while doing it.
The severity with which this message is relayed plays a large part in determining how comfortable we are with experiencing genital pleasure later on in life.
I frequently share that sexual shame is learned behavior, and not something inherent within us.
So how does this affect our creative expression as adults?
Anywhere we have repressed a piece of ourselves as a result of unconscious or subconscious shame, we create a “fracture” in our psyche. We disassociate from this aspect of ourselves, which the world has told us is dirty, shameful, and wrong. In a desperate attempt to receive the love and approval we need to survive, we hide away this piece of us that has been deemed unlovable, thus creating a “shadow self.”
Jungian Psychology recognizes these shadow aspects hidden deep within also contain gifts, talents, and creative abilities that lie dormant and unused, trapped in the energy of fear and denial of ones’ self.
When these shadow pieces of ourselves are acknowledged, recognized, and integrated back into the whole of our being, a tremendous amount of creative life force energy is freed up, and becomes available for us to use in other areas of life.
So, if we are able to integrate the shadow of our sexual selves by overcoming and healing the culturally imposed guilt, fear, and shame we have regarding sexual pleasure and expression, we become not only more wholly integrated as beings, but we are also able to access more of our personal, spiritual, and creative potential.
On the physical level, sexual pleasure and orgasm directly relate to our creative expression and abilities by the release of pleasure-generated hormones such as dopamine, testosterone, endorphins, and serotonin.
These chemicals are responsible for generating feelings of well-being, contentment, passion, purpose, drive and ambition, with dopamine particularly related to a woman’s sense of self-confidence, creativity, and accomplishment.
From an esoteric viewpoint, the sexual chakra in Tibetan Buddhism relates to the fire element, which is all about energy, passion, purpose, drive, and the ability to manifest. Having an open and “unblocked” sexual chakra allows for the free flow of sexual energy throughout the whole system, offering vital nourishment to the mind, body, and soul.
I believe that our sexual energy as a vital source of creative and life energy is one of the best-kept secrets on the planet. When we allow ourselves to experience the sexual and sensual pleasure that is our birthright, we free ourselves from the shackles of societal guilt and pain, thus becoming more wholly ourselves. I like to say, “free your ass and your mind will follow.”

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