Welcome to 2010! Other than Christmas, for me, the beginning of the year is the most exciting time of the year. It is the time of year when we are the most excited about the possibilities that await us, a time to begin again. I personally like to think we get wiser and more compassionate with each year that passes, that as we cross the threshold from one year to the next, anything is possible, and that we can take what we learned in the previous year with us to create an exciting new future of possibilities.
Those feelings of excitement and hope are part of the beauty of our human condition. All of us have hopes and dreams about whom we want to be in our lives, what we want to do with our lives, and the ways in which we can best express who we are as individuals. One of the ways in which we can choose to express ourselves is through the practice of self care. Self care, particularly in our American society, is often the first thing we remove from our lives in order to fulfill our obligations to others.
We are all busy, too busy at times. We have obligations and responsibilities that dominate our thoughts and activities. We need to pick up the children, run the errands, fulfill our professional and social obligations. There is no end to the extraordinary lists we create. On paper and in our heads are any number of appointments and tasks to attend to and complete before we can rest our heads in exhaustion as we finally collapse in bed at the end of our long days.
As many of you know, I was not historically my own best self care champion. I, too, am an individual who thrives on to-do lists and endless obligations. I love the excitement of being busy and the feeling of accomplishment when I have completed the numerous items on my list. I have firmly established myself within my own life as a great do-er. Probably a by-product of my project management background, it is very easy for me to see the big picture as well as all the small tasks that must be completed in order to get there. Perhaps because I am growing older, or preferably because I am getting wiser, I have developed some level of discontent with this focus over the last several years. If I had to choose, I’d much rather be a great “be-er.”
Although I do still very much enjoy the sense of completion and the excitement of a project well executed, I have found myself investing more time in the art of “be-ing” rather than “do-ing.” Possibly due to the anomaly of life wherein you tend to notice more of what you are experiencing personally, I have been intrigued to find so many other people who are going through the same experience. We seem to be going through a shift in our society, from determining our self worth by focusing on how much, how quickly we can produce to establishing our identities through a more introspective approach. Who are we as individuals in our own lives and what are the ways in which we are uniquely contributing (or not contributing) to our world as a whole?
As we are called to go within, to evaluate those parts of us that we cherish as well as those parts that don’t serve us, our attention invariably is brought to the ways in which we are, or are not, showing up for ourselves. We often hear the old adage that you must first give to yourself in order to be able to be there for others. A good example of this is the crisis training we receive when flying - first put on your own oxygen mask so that you can then help others to do the same. It’s very hard to help others when you are unconscious! For years, I recognized the wisdom in these words but could not seem to understand how to get there. With so many obligations, so many responsibilities and people counting on me, how could I possibly have the time to do something for myself?
For a long time, I tried to squeeze out the extra time for myself from my sleeping hours. At the time, I regarded sleep as largely wasted hours – I mean, all that time just lying around doing nothing? Certainly I could make more use of that time! At first, I used the time for myself, meditating, actually eating breakfast, paying attention to my thoughts and my needs. After a while though, I began to borrow from that new “me” time to use it for extra work time. Before too long, I seemed to forget that the new “extra” time was meant for anything but work. As you might guess, nearly without my conscious realization, I had somehow fallen off my own list yet again.
Luckily, as I mentioned earlier, I like to believe that we become wiser as the years progress, and although I am certainly no expert at great self care practices, I have finally integrated the wisdom of self care to a much greater degree in my daily life. There simply comes a point when you recognize that you must include your own needs on your list of priorities. Self care can feel uncomfortable and even selfish at times, but the benefits are enormous. By “gifting” yourself with good self care practices, you are more fully present to live your life, and more available and energetic to meet the needs of your loved ones.
It’s important to note, particularly for those of you who live with some degree of perfectionistic tendencies that establishing good self care practices is a journey, not a destination. One day you may really hit it out of the park and be able to do everything you need to in order to fully support yourself and your needs. The next day may be an entirely different story and the only activity you can manage is a few stolen moments of time to breathe deeply in silence. What you’ll discover along the journey is that as you begin to practice greater self care you have more energy and time to give to others. You also feel much more connected, grounded, and content within your own skin.
It is exciting to me that so many individuals seem to be awakening to the need to explore self, to discover and honor themselves to a greater degree. It is encouraging to see the studies that indicate the benefits that can be realized through meditation and other forms of self care. Whether the studies that our quantum physics scientists have published have influenced this societal shift or whether we are simply evolving in our consciousness as human beings, I don’t know. I suspect both. But I am thrilled that so many individuals, including myself, are being called to embrace their lives differently. The changes that each of us make individually will invariably alter and elevate our collective human consciousness.
So as we all begin this new year, take some time to evaluate your own self care practices. Whether you need to be more attentive to your nutrition, fitness, finances, spirituality or any other area, give yourself the gift of taking time for you, even if only for a few minutes. The rewards for yourself, your health, your family, and our world are enormous!
